Lonely Nights

Maybe it’s because of the fact my homies just left, but tonight, at 1:22 AM on a Wednesday night, a nigga just got really lonely. And just that quick, I’m straight. I swear, my emotions swing faster than a bitch lmao.

I want a girl. But I sorta don’t. I want to go back to school. But really I don’t. I need to this, that, and the third. And in the next breath, I can’t be bothered. I love to flirt, but don’t care enough to finish the deal. I promise that I’m going to remain confident. I stalk her on Twitter trying to figure out why she ain’t text me back or @reply me. Technology has helped get me to where I want to go in life, and ultimately it will be the death of me.

I want to love *her*. But I want to love *her* too. *She’s* the perfect girl, but she’s too old. *She’s* badder though. *She’s* bad too, but she’s too far away. Same with *her* too. I’ve been wanting *her* for almost a year, and now she’s single. But do I really want her, or is she just the latest to be at the top of my list? And is that a bad thing that the order flips constantly based on who’s stepping up right now?

I’m too tired right now. And one of these days, I’mma let everyone I want to see this, see it. But not yet. In the meantime, I’ll just write to myself, and let a random passerby catch a glimpse. All I want? All I want is a piece of *your* attention.

~ by L.A. on September 8, 2010.